Then again, I’ll readily admit that hearing news that someone I care about has died is not something I would easily put on my “to-do” list for ANY day of the week.

For as Mary Oliver writes in her poem, The Summer  Day:

Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

I met Tom in June, 2010 while I was on a tour of Ireland that was directed by Tom’s company, Enchanted Way Tours and hosted by my friend (and colleague/mentor) Brian Luke Seaward.  It was indeed an enchanted (and enchanting) trip for me – and for a lot of reasons.

And, meeting Tom–this bigger-than-life, huge-hearted teddy-bear of a guy with a lovely voice to boot–was an unexpected bonus.  Our paths had crossed at a time–and in a way–that magically captured a piece of my heart.   In this You-Tube clip [click on the above image], you can get a taste of Tom–the tour guide, story-teller and singer.

Tom sure seemed to have figured out what to do with his “one wild and precious life.”  He had a profound love for his native Ireland, an unbounded pride in being Irish and a special gift for sharing Ireland’s music, language and stories.

And, perhaps even more importantly, he was able to reach the end of his life in the same way he lived it.  I’m told that he died of a heart attack while participating in an Irish Music cruise in the Caribbean.  A Facebook update reported that:

He was feeling good and laughing with all of us just minutes before he passed. We were listening to an Irish session  which was what he loved and enjoyed.

Earlier this evening, a number of us who had participated in the Summer Soul-stice Riff Raff Tour of 2010 gathered virtually under our respective view of the moon–each in our own way to offer Tom our wishes for safe passage, love, and peace on this new phase of his journey.

For many of us, those moments included a song that had bound us together throughout the trip and afterwards, entitled  Safe Home by Johnsmith. [click on the YouTube link in the image to the right].  The lyrics seem especially appropriate for the occasion, especially the chorus:

Safe Home, Safe Home, Safe Home will you go

May the light of the moon smile down on your road

Safe Home, Safe Home, Safe Home will you go

Until I next see you, safe home will you go

Rest in peace, my friend!

A recent reminder arrived courtesy of the daily horoscope column in my local newspaper.

Though you love to take care of others, do not do this to such an extent that they forget how to take care of themselves.  They’ll only resent you for it later.

Hmmmm.  Lovely words of wisdom.

And the potential benefits are endless – for both the caregiv-er AND the caregiv-ee.

What are YOUR experiences?

wow, isn’t it interesting that this year, both my house (which turned 100 years old this year) AND my car (which just logged 100,000 miles) are “demanding” somewhat expensive–and ALWAYS unexpected presents from me!

So, my schedule the next day now included an unexpected “car-less” time period along with an “away-from-home” meeting, a 90 minute conference call as well as “walking / get coffee / be productive somehow / just be” time.

My first thought was that I had two choices about how to approach the day.  Either I could whine and moan about being stuck without my usual transportation and flexibility, OR I could bring a sense of interested curiosity, while inviting the day to unfold in a new way.

Grateful that I chose the 2nd option, along the way I…..

• Discovered the still fairly new Wanderer’s Teahouse in downtown East Lansing that I had read about some time back but hadn’t specifically figured out its location.  I met the owners, Elizabeth and Michael while enjoying a GREAT cup of coffee [I know, it's a teahouse--but I was in need of some serious caffeine that morning!].  I also learned about a cool-sounding “Drumming and Tea” workshop series they’re hosting later this month that I plan to attend.
• Thoroughly enjoyed walking throughout the summer-quiet Michigan State University Campus on a luscious July morning.
• Remembered two special trips (Oakland, CA and Portland, OR) where I could easily walk to nearby grocery stores and restaurants AND a spa!!
• Pondered adding “walkable/livable community” to the list of criteria I’m beginning to create if/when I ever decide to move away from Lansing.
• Considered the possibility/feasibility /desirability of actually scheduling (and reporting about) periodic “serendipity” days.
• Brainstormed possible names for such days (e.g., “opposite” days, lemon-aide days, stretch-ful days, day at the edge, etc.)

All in all, my experiment of a day at the edge of serendipity turned out to be a refreshingly, stretch-full, lemon-aide type of day.

And now, I’m a bit curious….about YOU….

• How do YOU handle potentially frustrating routine-changing events?
• Do you ever schedule your own “serendipity” days?
• If so, what discoveries have you made along the way?

You can leave a comment (below) or send me a private email.

I look forward to hearing from you!

We human beings like plans, on the whole. We tend to wake up and know what our day is going to be like. We act as if what we think is going to happen, will happen. But what do you do when suddenly out of the blue, something interrupts your plans? What do you do if your plans appear to unravel before your very eyes? When the structures you have set up to conduct your life within begin to crumble and fall apart?

This is what has been happening for me over the last year, since my husband was diagnosed with stomach cancer. In the moment of receiving that news, all “plans” went out the window, because suddenly we were living with a huge amount of uncertainty. Forced to live in the moment, if you like. And now, after treatment, we are still in a place of uncertainty, and other very simple structures are being dismantled, like mealtimes. Because he is having to explore new ways of eating since his stomach operation, the mealtime rhythm in our house has been disrupted. Then, last week I was away twice on different courses, which is another disruption of our normal daily routine. Plus, the plans that I have had for RichThinkers have not quite been working out as I thought they would – or as I had planned.

Which leads to the question in the title of this article. Who’s really in charge of your business? Or – who’s really in charge of your life? I know it looks like we as human beings are, with our intentions, goals, plans, investments, structures and daily rhythms that support us – but when these all begin to fall apart, what is there left? And how do you carry on?

Pondering this question today, it led me to the idea of actively letting go of all the structures (or actually, admitting that they are letting go of me!) and allowing myself to be in freefall for however long. It’s like when a trapeze artist jumps from one trapeze to another – there is a moment of suspension in the air which occurs because of the faith present just before the letting go, and the trust that the other trapeze bar will be there just at the right moment. But the moment of suspension is the place I’m talking about right now. And that’ s the place where the question ‘what if I just showed up each morning and asked what to do?’ comes from – that space of emptiness, of trusting and faith that the answer will be shown.

In the spirit of this question, I’m not providing an answer in this article. There isn’t one that comes from me, for you. Your answer has to come from within you, and from you being willing to ask that question from a place of uncertainty.

If you are currently finding that the structures of your life are coll­apsing around you; or if you are someone who thrives on (the illusion of) being in control; or if you are facing big, apparent disasters, then perhaps this is a moment to consider stopping trying to find a structure outside yourself on which to rely, and turn inside, asking the question, ‘What shall I do today, in my business?’ Or even ‘What would You have me do today?’

Given that you are asking this of your own inner wisdom, or Higher Power, the answer is likely to come in a sign, a signal, a whisper, an intuitive feeling, or even just a strong urge to take action in some way. So I invite you today or tomorrow, to sit still and ask your inner wisdom how you should show up in your business; what actions to take when; how to be in a particular meeting or conversation. Explore, see what happens and let me know!

Hint: it’s easier to hear an answer when your mind is stilled, so this is something be asked when you are in your normal meditation time, or taking the time to calm and collect yourself before starting on a project or task of some kind.

There were so many reasons why Jane’s article struck a chord inside me  – resonating with so many of my own experiences.  And especially with my knowing that the answers to life’s thorniest questions truly do lie WITHIN – and all we need to do is be ready to “Pause, Turn and Listen” to what it has to say to us.

What about you?  What resonated for you in Jane’s words?  I’d love your feedback.

And, if you’re sensing that perhaps a bit of help to “tune in” to your inner wisdom is in order, please check out my free e-course, “Finding Center.”

Today is going to require a LOT of deep breathing.

Which inspired me to relish some lovely breathing space of my own for a few moments.   Ah…….

Which further inspired me to record a  musical Meditation on Breathing by Sarah Dan Jones :  BreatheIn-BreatheOut **

It’s actually a musical round with 3 parts (except I sang/recorded each line separately–someday, maybe I’ll record a trio with myself !)

1. a simple single-pitched “drone” part of “breathe in….breathe out”
2. the melody line – “when I breathe in, I breathe in peace….when I breathe out, I breathe out love.”
3. the descant line – same text as the melody

 I invite you to listen…..and breathe…….and maybe even sing along – choosing which part you feel most comfortable singing.  And, if you’re willing – let me know how that feels inside……

* I found a lovely, related composition/recording by Sarah Dan Jones online, entitled When I Breathe In  that uses this melody as the chorus.

** Interesting how popular the theme of “breathing in, breathing out” is.  A quick google search included the following:

• Matt Kearney’s Breathe In, Breathe Out [actually, I kinda liked this song!]
• Chris Cagle’s I Breathe In, I Breathe Out [country]
• St. Lunatics (Ali), Breathe in, Breathe Out [rap]

And here’s another invitation - as you listen to any/all of the songs, notice if (and/or how) each one resonates differently inside you.

At 6:36 am on Sunday, July 4, 2010, my oldest brother phoned me with the news that my dear mother, Elaine Kiener, had passed away that morning at 5 am. 

At 7:36 am, I received an email (from a Google Group that explores the crossings between  Nonviolent Communication and  Focusing. 

In that email, a colleague shared a poem entitled:  Your Mother and My Mother by hafiz.

Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living
In better conditions.

For your mother and my mother
Were friends.

I know the innkeeper
In this part of the universe.
Get some rest tonight,
Come to see my verse again tomorrow.
We’ll go speak to the Friend together.

I should not make any promises right now,
But I know if you
Pray
Somewhere in this world–
Something good will happen.

God wants to see
More love and playfulness in your eyes
For that is your greatest witness to Him.

Your soul and my soul
Once sat together in the Beloved’s womb
Playing footsie.

Your heart and my heart
Are very, very old Friends.

Such a beautiful poem and message – in its own right. 

And yet, even more fitting considering that I had been with my mom a few years before as I watched her NOT die (all within a peaceful sleep), and had also been with her during times of panicked breathlessness.  I am so grateful to know that fear was not a companion along her final journey.

Dear Mary Elaine: 

HeartMath founder Doc Childre has written a new booklet, The State of Ease – it’s available for free – to help recreate flow in our daily lives and maintain coherent alignment between our heart, mind and emotions. We invite and encourage you to read The State of Ease.

Click here to view or get a free download.

We want to make this helpful booklet, which includes the new Inner-Ease™ technique, available to as many people as possible, so we are asking you to please help distribute The State of Ease to others at this time of change. Feel free to post The State of Ease link or PDF file on your Web site. E-mail it to friends and family, send it to other Web sites and blogs or refer people to http://heartmath.org/state-of-ease.

With care,

Sara Childre,
President, Institute of HeartMath

Forward to a friend